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Getting Out of an Unhealthy Relationship

Breaking up is hard to do under the best of circumstances. Getting out of an unhealthy relationship has internal dynamics that make is all the harder to end. Understanding what makes a relationship unhealthy helps the person leaving to identify the reasons they need to leave. Substance abuse, mental illness, emotional and physical abuse, and infidelity are signs that you are in a bad relationship and need to find a way out.

What Is an Unhealthy Relationship

There is not one thing that defines an unhealthy relationship. Sometimes personalities simply don’t mix and you aren’t happy; you feel like the relationship holds you down. More often than not, unhealthy relationships involve physical or emotional abuse, monetary control or social isolation (or all of them).

Why We Stay in Unhealthy Relationships

unhealthy relationship couple arguing

There is a myriad of reasons people stay in unhealthy relationships. Often it can be a mixture of things that lead from one bad relationship to another. Until someone understands why they get in and stay in a bad relationship, the cycle continues. As a single mom, my goal is to break the cycle of my bad choices now that I’m out of the unhealthy relationship. That being said, it isn’t easy getting out.

I knew before my son was even born that our marriage wasn’t going to last. Yet, I was desperate to find a way to make it work. I wanted my son to have a cohesive family he could rely on. And even in the face of knowing it wasn’t going to happen, my pride didn’t want to admit how bad of a decision I had made. I stayed two years longer than was emotionally healthy for myself.

Here are some reasons we stay in unhealthy relationships:

Self-Worth and Satisfaction

One of the most prevalent is your personal set of standards, meaning someone can be satisfied with an unsatisfactory relationship. This often has to do with a person’s self-esteem and self-worth. Comparing your life to others, it can be easy to say, “well I don’t deserve more than this.”

Abusive Conditioning and Fear

This feeling could also be the result of manipulation and emotional abuse. A man or woman could become convinced by an abusive partner that they aren’t deserving of someone better, that they are worthless and unlovable. Some trying to leaving an abusive relationship may fear a violent outburst from his or her partner.

Investment of Time or Money

Our personal ego can fight our own instincts to leave someone. We look at the time and money spent to build a relationship. It can be hard to determine when it is time to cut our losses and move on. This is where emotions and rational thinking don’t always mesh; our heart is telling us we aren’t happy but our mind is telling us that we should stick it out because we’ve been together for so long.

Children Are Involved

One of the hardest things to do is to leave when children are involved. There are a couple of reasons for this. The most common reason is keeping the children’s best interest at heart by not wanting them to have a split home. Other reasons are more fear-based: men may think they won’t have time with their kids while women may fear not being able to provide for the household on their own. Remember that there is an impact on kids when we stay in toxic relationships.

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The Difference Between Compromise and Sacrifice

Compromise is when two parties work together to find a middle ground; it means both are probably getting something and giving something. Sacrificing is giving up your needs and wants to give in to the other person. Continual sacrifice leads to a feeling of resentment and unfulfillment.

It’s often said that it takes two people to make a relationship work. It is also said that it takes two to make it fail. The latter statement can be a bit tricky. Two people compromising or deciding to split ways is a demonstration of two people making it work or not work. One person expecting the other to always make the sacrifice still technically involves two people but only one is really working on the relationship.

You are sacrificing if:

  • you are always giving and never getting anything in return.
  • nothing is ever enough to satisfy the other person.
  • the goal posts move every time you agree to your side of the compromise.

Sacrifice Can Be Subtle

It was apparent that no matter what I did, it would never be enough. The food I always had cooked and loved wasn’t healthy enough by his standards. When I changed the entire menu according to his wishes, he never ate it and complained that I never cooked. One of the many ways in which I thought I was making a compromise to make things work. In my mind, it was a small change to make so our family could enjoy a meal together.

Finally separated, I was able to inventory all the things I loved that I changed or got rid of. Everything from how I cooked, favorite artwork and even relocating my dog. I also lost count of the number of times he told me he “didn’t need to compromise.” There were two in the marriage with only one trying to work things out.

Knowing When It’s Time to Leave

At some point, a person needs to know when it is time to leave. It will never feel right or feel good because you do have emotional ties to the person, the relationship and the situation. You may be afraid that making the leap will lead to something worse than where you are at. Often, people know it’s time and still stay mustering the courage and developing the plan to do so.

The moment you realize it is time to leave can be the most terrifying moment you ever face. You’re in a bad relationship, maybe physically or emotionally abusive. Changing the status quo can set a chain reaction of things. But, you have to recognize that time has come.

Here are some things to consider the time to get out of a bad relationship:

  • Walking on eggshells is the new normal, even for the kids, so as to not upset your partner
  • Friends no longer want to meet at your home or have couples’ nights out
  • Sex life is unsatisfying or non-existent
  • Fear is the predominant feeling
  • Money is completely controlled by the other party
  • Memories of why you are together are hard to find
  • Sleeping, eating and exercise habits become unhealthy

Everyone’s list is unique. The patterns of an unhealthy relationship are different for everyone. It’s important to know that while you may feel stuck, you aren’t. You have the opportunity to make a change for the better.

Have a Plan to Leave an Unhealthy Relationship

Take the time to create a plan for leaving. Obviously, if you are in physical danger, time is not on your side. You need to get out and find a friend, family member or shelter that can help. In most other situations, simply getting up and walking out rarely puts you in a position of personal strength ­– personal strength is everything you need when leaving.

Start with a trusted support network. Figure out the money; save somewhere you can. Line up employment if you don’t already work. Find a place stay, whether with a friend or renting somewhere on your own. Check on how benefits work if you will need them to get you through the initial phase of break off. That’s what this is, breaking off, not breaking up. You need to cut the emotional ties and physical dependency while keeping the rest of you intact.

Go Time

go time clock

Take a deep breath and consider what you are doing. There will be so many triggers pulling you back to staying if even for the comfort of just not creating conflict. Get a friend to help you, support you through it. If you make plans you can’t change, it helps. Hire movers or sign the contract for a new lease.

When I knew it was time, I went out and looked for a place to live. I found a small house in a community I felt safe in. The lease was signed, deposit paid and movers hired. There were two locations I needed to deal with: our home and our ranch where most of my things had been put in storage because he didn’t like them. My plan was to have my son go to a playdate while I met the movers at the ranch to take care of that then swing by and get the essentials from the home. A friend met me the day before to help me gather my things at the ranch so we could be in and out as quickly as possible.

So much for trusted allies. He came home that night with a sudden urgency to go to the ranch on a weeknight when it was always a weekend home. When the movers and I arrived, he had unpacked things to go through them, taken what he felt was his and harassed the movers with a video camera in their face the entire time. Nothing about that day was easy but the moment I laid in my new home, with my son cuddled up next to me, I knew I had taken the first step to regain control of my life.

Recovering from an Unhealthy Relationship

It takes time to untangle the emotions after breaking away from an unhealthy relationship. People react differently. Some get out and enjoy freedom while others stay at home, suffering in silence. Extremes of either option aren’t good. Make time to spend with friends and family but don’t be afraid to sit down and feel. Figure out who you are again.

Kids will have their own struggles. It’s important that you don’t get so stuck in your own healing that you forget about the pain or confusion your children might be feeling. Yes, kids are resilient but they still experience stress when mommy and daddy split.

Shortly before I moved out, I had taken my son to the pediatrician. In the visit, I explained to the doctor that his father and I were separating and was there anything I should expect. His words were prophetic, “He’ll feel like things are out of control so he’ll hold on to what he can control. His bladder.” My son was a toddler and just starting pottie training that quickly stopped by toddler refusal when we moved out. When I followed up with the pediatrician, he laughed, “Don’t worry, it will work itself out. I promise he won’t be going to college in a diaper.”

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Not Making the Same Mistakes Again

It’s easy to say, “I’m never going to let that happen to me again.” You’ve left because you saw the need, felt the negativity and broke away. Clarity is a nice thing. Then come the loneliness and the stress. Being a single mom or single dad isn’t easy; it’s nice to have someone around to talk to, to help, to keep guard of the bathroom door for an indulgent bath alone. All those feelings are natural and normal.

No one can predict how long it will take to recover or how long it should take to jump back into the dating world. Some people are better about just going out and dating casually than others. I’ve never been good at casual dating so for me, it has been a very cautious road of who I let into my life and into my son’s. The work to heal takes time and requires digging into all the icky stuff that makes us feel ashamed or embarrassed for our previous decisions. You have to do that work to rebuild your self-esteem and self-worth. Otherwise, the cycle continues.

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Co-Parenting with a Toxic Ex

Co-Parenting with a Toxic Ex

In the divorce process through the time your kids finally leave the house, you will hear over and over again, “Get along for the kids.” The notion that you once loved this person and the fact that you aren’t inviting them over to hunt Easter Eggs as a family is a negative reflection on your ability to be a mature adult. Single parents have to find a way to raise healthy children. Co-parenting with a toxic ex can make everyone less healthy.

While effective co-parenting can make everyone’s lives easier and healthier, it isn’t always possible. As a single parent, you must determine if you are able to find middle ground as a co-parent. If you are dealing with a toxic personality, such as a narcissist, chances are co-parenting is impossible. It sucks but the reality is the attempt to engage in mutual agreements ends up becoming another series of arguments, lies and broken promises.

Who Gets Hurt in Co-Parenting Conflicts

Your child deserves to have both parents in their lives but they don’t deserve to be in the middle of high conflict scenarios all the time. That is exactly what happens when you are co-parenting with a toxic ex. Your child’s ability to make it to soccer practice is impeded because there is conflict. Sure, the stress and anxiety take a toll you as well, furthering the dysfunction your child experiences.

I had a high-conflict divorce. In fact, that is an understatement. We had a bi-furcated trial: part one over financials and part two over custody. I was married for approximately two years. My custody battle ensued for two-and-a-half. It was expensive, with my ex holding all the cards – meaning the money. To say this was a difficult divorce is an understatement. I didn’t understand nor did I have effective techniques to deal with the barrage of lies and misdirection constantly being exploited to the courts, our friends and to my son.

Custody Schedules and Parenting Plans


You already know you can’t get in the way of your kids seeing the toxic parent. The courts will be on you harder than the toxic parent. This means you need to create a parenting plan and stick to it. Requesting a switch of a weekend is an opening for your ex to manipulate you. Think about the scenarios leading to the marriage breakup: were things you asked for used to get control or build an advantage over you? This won’t change as a co-parent.

Our parenting plan required us to use email to determine schedules, send notifications and manage all co-parenting tasks. Down to the minute of when I could call my son in the evenings at his dad’s, I stuck to the schedule. My ex, from the moment he got 50% custody was constantly dropping our son off early. My life consists of all the normal single mom duties, working and an extensive custody log of what I did and when and what my ex did (or didn’t do) and when.

Documentation, I was told, was critical if I ever had a custody issue. The missed pickups, the late drop-offs and series of things my son would tell me were all documented in the log. It was consuming and exhausting. There was no pattern of change in my ex even in the times I emailed to notify him he violated the court order. Of course, I was always wrong.

Be Careful of Parental Alienation Syndrome

Be careful what you say to your kids. We all know that kids are sponges and hear everything. In divorce, kids tend to internalize everything. You know the other party is saying a million bad things about you. Don’t fall into that trap. Not only will it become a problem for you in court if you end up back there (most I know dealing with toxic situations do end up back more than once), your child absorbs it.

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What Parental Alienation Syndrome Is

Parental alienation syndrome occurs where one parent is preventing the other from seeing their kids or is manipulating them in ways to turn against the other parent. It is real and it hurts kids more than just about any other emotional abuse in my opinion.

Statements that lead to alienation syndrome include:

  • You should live here full time because Mommy can’t take care of you
  • Mommy (or Daddy) is dumb
  • I think your Mommy’s boyfriend is a criminal. Aren’t you scared?

You’ll hear people talk about “poisoning your child against the other parent.” This is the core of parental alienation syndrome. It confuses kids, but they ultimately realize the reality of the situation. If you don’t engage in the same type of behavior, know that kids are smart and see the truth. It’s hard to watch them struggle with it and even buy into if at times, but the truth is on your side. Take the high road.

There was a policy I made very clear to all family and friends: we don’t discuss my divorce where my son can hear me. I didn’t care if he was napping in the backseat, totally passed out after a day a Disneyland. Even my closest family would be taken aback as I would enforce the policy regardless of how enraged I might be about the situation.

Learning Parallel Parenting Skills

co-parenting with toxic ex

I didn’t have a partner in my marriage and it was crazy to think that I would have a partner in divorce. It had nothing to do with what was in the best interest of my son. Towards the end of the custody evaluation, having dealt with the mind-changing demands clearly caught lies in testimony and constant aggravation, my attorney advised me to the concept of “parallel parenting.”

What Parallel Parenting Is

Parallel parenting is a type of co-parenting where divorced parents disengage from each other. This doesn’t mean you don’t follow the court order. You simply have to agree that you aren’t going to have a say in what happens at the other person’s house. You can outline things in the court orders and parenting plan and go to court if you feel it is constantly being violated.

Parallel parenting plans mean you don’t agree on things like:

  • Bedtime for the kids
  • Meals and dietary restrictions
  • Television shows, movies and video game use
  • Homework habits

Don’t expect parallel parenting to be easy on you or your child. It does beat the alternative of constantly fighting and never getting a resolution. The other parent is going to do what they want anyways – accept it. Of course, if your child is in danger take action.

My son was in kindergarten and desperately wanted to join the basketball program at the YMCA. His best friend was in the program and he was excited to try a sport. I signed him up and emailed my ex about the schedule. He was upset that I was infringing on his parenting time by signing our son up and refused to take him. I didn’t try to enforce it and my son missed every practice and game when he was at his dad’s.

Of course, he didn’t improve as a player and hated the experience. My intention was good and I was within my rights to sign him up. I didn’t ask my ex to even pay for half. I’d show up at the games on my off weekends, just in case he was there so I could cheer. Mostly I sat there feeling like an idiot even though I was cheering for his team and our friends. My job was to show up even when my kid wasn’t showing up – usually through no fault of his own.

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Tips for Co-Parenting with a Toxic Ex

If you are in a co-parenting scenario, you’ll need to develop coping and parenting skills to deal with the situation. Separation or divorce with kids requires you taking time to heal and process your own feeling. That’s the only way you get into a new healthy relationship later on. Engaging with a toxic ex will only delay your healing.

Here are five tips to help co-parent with a toxic ex:

  1. Mind your tongue: keep your beliefs about your ex to yourself and ask all around to do the same.
  2. Get joint Google calendar or Co-Parenting App: Apps like Our Family Wizard allow you to email, schedule and record all events for your child with the other party. It even allows accounts for the kids and stepparents. If needed, the system links as evidence to courts.
  3. Stick to the parenting plan: deviation not only confuses your child, but allows the toxic parent to start bartering, controlling and manipulating. Unless an emergency, keep your end of the parenting plan on track always.
  4. Respect your kids’ relationship with the other parent: This is hard but they have a right to know and spend time with them. Leave it up to your kids to learn the truth about why Mommy and Daddy got a divorce.

Taking Time To Heal

As a co-parent, I’m not perfect but I’ll hold my head high knowing that I did the best I could. I set rules in place to no engage in negative talk about my ex, even when my son was asking why Daddy was saying such bad things about me. A difficult divorce takes time to work through negative feelings. Honestly, there are still triggers for me.

Don’t be afraid to get seek assistance with mental health professionals. They’ll be able to help you discern what is reality and what is the “crazy talk” resulting from your situation. Know that you can still develop positive parenting skills as time goes on. While your kids feel conflict, they also feel love. Just make sure that is the most prominent thing you show them.

If you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed with the situations and emotions involved with co-parenting with your ex, join us in our private group, Single Mommy Tribe. We’re supporting, caring and, at times your reality check on moving and becoming a better single mom.

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Getting Over Emotional Trauma: Abusive Relationships Take a Toll

The tolls of emotional trauma in an abusive relationship leave the abused feeling everything is their fault, they are crazy and wrong and even evil. Everyone reacts differently to emotional trauma depending on their life history and the extent the abuse. Getting over the scars of emotional trauma from one or more abusive relationships takes time and work. It isn’t easy, but there is hope.

It was a bad day. I sat in my therapist’s office, wanting to cry but the tears just wouldn’t stream. I wanted to talk, but I really felt what I had to say was dumb. My mind raced through the pages and pages he wrote in our divorce declarations accusing me of just about anything and everything you could. He’s a seasoned litigator; he understood how to present a case. None of it was true, yet it sounded like it was simple fact and I found myself wondering if it really was me.

“Narcissists are masters at making you feel nuts. It’s crazy making. They feed on it.” Those words woke me up.

I hadn’t ever defined my ex as a narcissist. Quite frankly, I had never thought about what a narcissist was or did. But what she said hit a nerve deep inside. We were months into what would be a two-year divorce for a marriage that barely hit the two-year mark. When I left, I couldn’t have even told you that my favorite color was purple.

I was a mess and it scared me because I had to pull things together to provide for my son, to protect him. But there was a ton of work I’d need to do in getting over the emotional trauma. Sadly, I wasn’t alone.getting over emotional trauma is difficult

What Is Emotional Trauma

Emotional trauma is defined as the result of experiencing extremely stressful events in which you have little, if any, control over. Those who experience emotional trauma may feel helpless having lost a sense of security in the normal day-to-day life experiences.

An abusive relationship, whether a domestic violence situation or long-drawn-out emotional abuse, shatter egos and create traumatized shells of the people we once were. Even removed from the situation, the emotional pain and scars linger through many aspects of life. The brain and body remember even when we aren’t thinking about it. Healing isn’t easily achieved.

Signs of Narcissistic Abuse and Emotional Trauma

After that day at my therapist’s office, I started to research more about the patterns of a narcissist. My story sounded so much like that of other women, afraid to leave, convinced they were worthless.

Signs of emotional abuse from a narcissist include:

  • Verbal abuse: This ranges from belittling, sarcastic remarks, undermining, threatening and ordering demands. While this is common in many relationships, it is significantly apparent in abusive relationships with narcissists.
  • Manipulation: This is covert aggression. It is disguised in the cloak of something nice to later alter it. It can also be “moving the goal posts” meaning you do one thing to get my affection and once it is accomplished, there is a list of others.
  • Gaslighting: This is extremely common in narcissistic relationships where you are meant to feel that your sense of reality isn’t correct and you are mentally incompetent.
  • Emotional blackmail: Many refer to this as the “fog” of shutting down after threats, warnings, intimidation and punishments for non-compliance.
  • Sabotage: Sabotage often happens with other relationships in your life or trying to build your career or other self-improvements.
  • Lying: Lying and thinking there is no consequence for it. Sometimes as blatant as changing answers within a few sentences.
  • Withholding: Keeping money, sex, affection, and other things from you to push you into more compliance.
  • Negative contrasting: Comparing you to others to put you down or comparing themselves against others to build themselves up.

I’d read the list over and over. Incident after incident fit.abuse and getting over emotional trauma

  • Verbal abuse: One of the most notorious was saying “I looked like I was one step above Goodwill and one step below the maid” in referring to me wearing sweats after giving birth to our son.
  • Manipulation: So many examples. Telling me we had to get rid of one my dogs because we couldn’t have four and mine was a problem only to later find out that one of his was his ex-wife’s who still had the right to claim him at any time.
  • Gaslighting: Did I say I didn’t know my favorite color?
  • Emotional blackmail: During our honeymoon period when we were supposed to be happy with a new baby, he would say he was going to retire and “he didn’t know what I was going to do cause I needed to earn my keep.”
  • Sabotage: We opened a business for film production on our (his) ranch. When I marketed it and got the first client, suddenly they were not allowed to film where they had contracted to film, making me look like an idiot and killing the deal. (Of course, I was the reason the business failed.)
  • Lying: We were broke despite the Bel Air home, a weekend ranch, his 4 cars, horses, fine art and a thousand other playthings. No, we couldn’t afford $100 for me to get my hair done.
  • Withholding: He canceled the one credit card he gave me because I bought a pair of pants. My mom had to send money for me to buy formula for our son.
  • Negative contrasting: Didn’t matter if he knew the person or not, the perception of success was what mattered. Like when we were driving in traffic and the Range Rover mom with a child in the back had to be balancing a $500,000 career, making dinner, taking care of the kid and having tons of energy for sex too. Maybe we should have stopped to ask her what her life was really like.

How did I get there?

Even understanding all the signs that lead to emotional trauma, I found little solace. My head still spun with every decision I made, wondering if I was a good person, smart, capable. Most of all, I questioned whether or not I was a good mother, the one thing most important to me. My son was everything I was fighting for.

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The Effects of Emotional Abuse

The effects of emotional trauma resulting from an abusive relationship with a narcissist are widespread. Survivors tend to shut down and don’t have the ability to cope with conflict. It takes healing time to trust in relationships again and pull out from being withdrawn. Depression is common with behaviors triggered easily by similar events or conversations.

For a survivor co-parenting, the road will be long and difficult. Every interaction, text and email is an opportunity for conflict. For the narcissist, this is what they thrive on. For the survivor, this sets off traumatic memories and a visceral reaction. That reaction goes right back to the crazy making. Forcing yourself to stop interacting and reacting to the situation is hard, but the only path to sanity.

Years later when our son refused to go to his father’s anymore, we entered into group family therapy. This was the last place I wanted to be on a Thursday evening. But for the sake of my son, I did. I will say that no matter how far removed I am from my ex and how much stronger I have gotten in my healing, it doesn’t take much to be in a room and get triggered from something.

It never occurred to me that post-traumatic stress disorder was something that could happen to people not involved in a physically traumatic event like an accident or incident. My troubles couldn’t possibly compare to the experiences of a soldier coming back from Iraq. They have a right to claim post-traumatic stress disorder.

Over the years, I have realized that each of us has a path and our perceptions are based on our own realities. I’ve seen more and more women (and men) talk about the negative emotions, flashbacks and emotional pain – all of which meet the description of post-traumatic stress disorder. Sure, that is my Bachelors of Psychology, Google degree speaking. I’m not a professional. But it seems to fit for many.woman showing signs of emotional trauma

Symptoms of Emotional Trauma Survivors

Emotional trauma leaves both mental and physical scars. The symptoms are sometimes hard to recognize. Plus someone may have had physical trauma or experienced domestic violence on top of it that can increase symptoms and reactions. Left untreated, symptoms remain for the course of your life. Survivors can live without healing or can choose to rebuild their egos, self-worth and overall happiness.

Physical Symptoms

Physical symptoms of emotional trauma include low energy and chronic fatigue. Survivors experience insomnia, nightmares and even night terrors. A physical response to trauma is being on edge and easily startles. They hold a ton of tension in their muscles, always waiting to react. Survivors also experience a racing heartbeat, aches and pains and difficulty concentrating.

Mental / Emotional Symptoms

The mental and emotional symptoms of surviving an emotionally abusive relationship include depression, mood swings and anxiety. Often survivors state they feel helpless and worthless. They are easily confused and don’t trust others or themselves. Often, they are riddled with guilt and shame, feeling like they should have known better. Many become disconnected with the world around them, withdrawing from normal social and emotional interactions.

I could certainly relate to many of the symptoms. It was inconceivable to friends and family that I ever became involved with the man. Many confiding in me years later that they didn’t like him but didn’t want to ruin my happiness. Truth was, I was never happy with him. But once I was sucked in, I really never knew how to get out.

Reaching out for help was even more difficult. How could I? I was a strong, successful woman who screwed everything up with one relationship. My choices led to years of misery.

The thing is you can own your choices and even your mistakes and not be 100% responsible for the end result. Forgiving yourself can be the most difficult thing, but necessary. It’s the only way to find happiness again – that is the only way to beat the narcissist.

Coping with Emotional Trauma from Abusive Relationshipscoping mechanisms

People’s response to trauma is different. We all have our own ways to cope and deal with anxiety and stress.

Here are three negative ways survivors seems to cope:

  • Withdrawal from People
  • Substance Abuse
  • Sexual Promiscuity

As for me, withdrawing from others was the easiest. The stories being told about me to our common relationships made were enraging and embarrassing. My sense of shame and guilt within my own circles made me want to hide under the covers.

The only thing that brought me out was my son. He needed a social life and that was my entrance back into society. From MOMS Club to PTA and playdates, the friends I made saved my life. They’ll never know how deeply their kindness over the years to me and my son have impacted my life. Accepting me as a hot mess, hugging me and reassuring me that I wasn’t nuts.

It’s the little things in life that mean a lot – like the simple phrase, “I want to see you happy,” can mean so much.

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Getting Over Emotional Trauma

Recovering from trauma takes time. I’ve thought a lot about why women (and men) remain in abusive relationships. The only conclusion I have is that the unknown is scarier than the known. Part of it is the buy-in to what the abuser is saying. Part of it is the shame of feeling like you failed yourself and your child.

To get over emotional trauma and escape the patterns of an abusive relationship, you have to step outside your comfort zone.

Here are some tips for recovering from emotional trauma:

  1. Find your tribe. We have a great safe space in our group, Single Mommy Tribe.
  2. Force yourself to be with people. Join a club, volunteer or just call old friends.
  3. Learn to exercise in a way that helps you focus on your body and control anxiety like yoga, weight training or rock climbing.
  4. Limit drinking. It’s a temporary solution that leads to other problems.
  5. Eat well and fuel your body with food that strengthens you to fight fatigue.
  6. Find someone you can talk to and relate to or go into therapy to work through things with a professional.

Getting over emotional trauma is important in finding fulfilling relationships and being the best parent you possibly can be. Remember that you might always get triggered if you are co-parenting. Set boundaries, use tools like email and co-parenting apps to limit contact.

Becoming emotionally healthy makes you a better parent. Your kids are worth it and so are you!

Being a single mom does mean you are parenting solo, but it doesn’t mean you need to be alone. Join the Tribe for support, resources and fun.