Posts

candy canes on table with pine cones and lights

Finding Christmas Traditions as a Single Mom

/0 Comments/in , /by

Christmas was always a very hard time of the year for me when my son was younger and we lived away from my family. As a single mom, winter break was often split which meant doing a lot of the lead up traditions to Christmas Eve wasn’t possible every year. It felt disjointed and awkward to try to build traditions that I could maintain every year. Traditions can become a burden.

Holiday Stress

ornaments in a box

I love winter holidays. Sure, growing up in Hawaii isn’t exactly the place to celebrate winter, but I love the trees, the lights, the movies, the songs, well the list just goes on. I love it all. And when I lived where it snowed, I loved that too! But the magic of Santa was a challenge when my son was younger. We didn’t have a lot of money for presents and the timing of my custody always seemed to leave something lacking when it came to doing the little things like seeing Santa or going on a train for a tree finding expedition.

I wanted him to remember his time with me, enjoy the holidays, and learn to love the magic of the season. But it was hard to juggle it all. School plays, PTA fundraisers, class parties, present shopping, and post office insanity all contributed to not being able to cuddle on the sofa to watch Rudolph with hot chocolate or eggnog.

We’d get invited to gatherings and holiday parties of friends, but those became awkward for me if my son wasn’t with me. Everyone asking where he is was always a reminder that he wasn’t with me. Their innocent questions stung my soul. Over time I started to decline holiday gatherings unless he was with me; it was just easier.

Why Traditions Matter

I’m what one would consider the family historian. I know the family tree, keep the recipes alive, and am very proud of who I am as it pertains to where I’ve come from. For me, these were important things to help my son understand even living 2,100 miles across an ocean away from my close family. Traditions are important because they give us a sense of belonging and comfort in consistency. Even a cranky teen can appreciate knowing that some things are just what we do as a family.

Some traditions are cultural and help us stay connected to our past. It’s also time when family expects to spend time together with love, laughter, and the occassional arguement over something as silly as the tree topper choice. When traditions involve extended family, the younger generation gets to know the older relatives and distant cousins, expanding their inner family circle. Making the same recipe for dinner helps you feel connected when living thousands of miles away.

Finding Our Own Way with Traditions

santa next to a christmas tree

There was one consistent part of my winter with my son, Christmas Eve though Christmas Day. Our traditions had to fit into this 36-hour window, sometimes rushed and hectic. But it had to be done in that time slot. The presents were already wrapped with Santa’s specially wrapped presents hidden out of sight. The tree would have been decorated the day after Thanksgiving or as soon as we could. My mom started sending him Hawaiian Santa ornaments when he was born, a way to connect our mainland home to our roots in Hawaii.

With everything all ready for the morning Santa presents reveal, I’d make a simple dinner. We’d eat as the Christmas movie binge would start. All the classic claymation films from my childhood like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and Santa Claus is Coming to Town. He’d open his presents from me and we’d play as I’d put on A Christmas Story and just soak in the evening. I’d let him plead his case to sleep on the sofa which we did, year after year. We’d put the milk and cookies out for Santa with a few carrots for the reindeer.

Somewhere around 1 AM, I’d try to pry myself from his slumbered cuddle without waking him. I’d tip toe around the house for a few minutes to make sure he didn’t wake just feet from the tree. I’d eat the the cookies and feed the carrots to the dog, keeping just a few bites to toss into the yard in the morning. It was all so easy except when you’re transporting a Santa gift filled with Lego parts through the dark. One stumble becomes a loud tell-all. Yet, year-after-year I managed to not wake him and slip back into an uncomfortable cuddle on the sofa.

Holiday Magic

boy standing over Christmas presents

Now that he is 17, there is no need to wait for Santa. Ironically, as hard and exhausting as they were, I miss the Santa routine. Why? Becuase for all the trouble of the holidays, the biggest tradition I worked hard to create was the feeling that Santa and the Spirit of Christmas was magically. I couldn’t afford a wild and crazy Christmas, yet every year I systematically figured out what was the most special gift: not just Legos but a new box of Star Wars Lego you couldn’t buy anymore.

It took planning all year to save the money to make the holiday special. It wasn’t about an expensive toy; it was his eyes widening and saying, “Of course that is Santa because I know we couldn’t get that.” That for me, even today, is the magic of a simple holiday tradition of what Santa will bring in the morning. Truth: I well up just thinking about it because I never wanted him to see the stress I experienced during the holidays. I wanted his tradition to be one of magic and his reaction was the only way I ever knew that I succeeded. Now, that part of the holiday is a memory, but a very special one that brings me joy as I look at the young man who will lay on the floor and play with the dog as we put on our movies and enjoy Christmas Eve.

Happy Holidays to all. If you need a place to talk and vent, the Single Mommy Tribe is a safe place to share and get support. No one should feel alone this holiday season.

single man looking at dating app

Single Mommy Dating Struggles

/0 Comments/in , , /by

Being a single mother navigating the world of single men is not an easy task. Dating, in general, is hard enough, but add to the mix your kids, their kids, and all that extra baggage of ex-spouses and you have a firework ready to pop. I’ve been single a long time, way too long to be honest, but for all the years I’ve been alone I haven’t been willing to change my deal breakers and how I choose a potential partner.

Most people don’t wait so long to get back in the saddle and find a boyfriend or girlfriend. At the same time, I know I’m not alone in choosing the road of raising children first and finding love later. If the time has come to be serious about finding a serious relationship, you really do need to be committed to trying. But what really goes into finding a someone ready for a committed relationship seeking a true life partner? Let’s delve into the world of single mommy dating…

Swipe Left or Right?

Unfortunately, dating has become a fast-food menu option – heck even fast food takes longer than the time most people spend on a dating profile. While meeting someone at a bar often starts with a physical attraction, there is also the opportunity to just have a conversation with people sitting near you. You get a flavor of their voice, their humor, even their intelligence, and interests. What football team they are cheering for if cheering at all.

But online dating profiles are strictly based on looks. Swipe right or left is purely a physical attraction. It’s the same for women and men. Like what you see and swipe right. Vice versa if you don’t like what you see. This is before you even get a sense of who they are. We’ve always hated that dating is marred with judgment on superficial traits, after all, isn’t it about being beautiful on the inside? Yet, we keep speeding up the process more and more.

For years, I’ve tried online dating in my search through potential partners. It’s been a painful process to say the least. Even the few times I thought I had a connection with someone and we were set to meet, they somehow found someone else at the last minute that was just quicker to the draw (or bed or whatever). It’s frustrating and demoralizing, to say the least.

Then you have to wonder if people are looking for a romantic partner or a significant other. 

Romantic Partner Vs. Significant Other

man kissing woman's hand

Is there a difference between a romantic partner and a significant other? Some people might not think so while others will certainly say yes. This is part of the relationship value system you just don’t get to understand until you really get to know someone. The difference between the two is simple: romantic partners are fun to hop in the sack with and there is a lot of physical chemistry. A significant other is someone you can imagine raising children with and is much more than a great lay. While there are overlaps between the two: a romantic partner may be a great friend and a significant other is ideally someone you are physically attracted to, but we shouldn’t confuse the two when dating.

It doesn’t matter if you are doing the online dating thing, meeting people through friends, or picking up someone at a bar, look for signs that the person is ready for a serious relationship if that’s what you want and need. If you are a woman who wants a partner, you need to be honest with yourself about what you want and what you can give.

Signs that a man is ready for a committed relationship include:

  • He seeks to be around you
  • He doesn’t disappear for times
  • He talks about the future and makes plans with you
  • You can rely on him
  • He’s unguarded around you
  • You can be unguarded around him (yes, even the ugly cry is okay)
  • He listens and cares about what you say
  • He invites you to meet his family, friends, and do hobbies
  • He shares his passions

This isn’t an end-all list and certainly, there are some things that some men may never be good at. For example, some men need alone time and will take it. Vice versa, a single mother may always be a bit guarded – at least until there is a firm commitment. Everyone needs space and should be able to set healthy boundaries, but the more signs there are of a committed single man, the more confident you can be that he is serious about becoming a significant other and not just chatting before an interlude.  

What Makes a Relationship Work

man and woman walking near Charleston building

While every relationship is different, time is precious and we need to understand what kind of relationship is healthy and meant for long-term thinking. The idea that there is one reason that is a magic secret sauce in a relationship is simply false. There are many things that become overarching themes in relationships that work.

Communication: Being able to communicate your wants, fears, feelings, desires, and needs are important and you also need to be able to hear and understand your partner’s. Successful married couples have strong communication skills.

Playfulness: A great relationship can make you feel like a child again because there is so much play happening. Being able to joke and be relaxed enough to be silly is a critical factor in many long-term relationships. When the play stops, it can mean something is wrong.

Interdependence: This means both individuals have their own identity but are able to work as a team and support each other in their lives whether married or not. Interdependence gives adults the best of independence and dependence on another human being.

Acknowledgment: Being able to say please and thank you for the little things (and big things) is imperative to not feeling as if you are being taken for granted. It’s nice to be appreciated and hear it when dinner is put on the table or the lawn is mowed. Give thanks and ideally, you get thanks in return as well.

Honesty: There is little doubt that men and women need to be honest with each other to have a strong marriage or relationship. But some serious relationships are just more honest than others. Being able to blurt out the truth and be totally accepted for it, no matter what is said is a big aspect of a healthy relationship.

You may attract a man where all of this isn’t readily apparent but with some work, you may find that you have found the boyfriend of your dreams. Toxic relationships won’t ever mature into a relationship with these components.

The Work of a Relationship

Relationships take work but they should also be a fun type of work if you are being rewarded with positive results. A single parent will have to arrange a babysitter, deal with an ex who may have an issue with the person you are dating, kids’ feelings of mom becoming romantically involved with someone, and the list goes on….

For someone like me, the work starts with getting out of my normal mom jeans, t-shirt, and baseball hat. It means taking the time to look my best which is time I generally don’t have. So the work starts in preparing for a date. Then there is the emotional work of being open while getting to know someone. That is followed by all the energy after a date wondering if you said every dumb thing you could have possibly said and if they think you are an absolute idiot. Talk about energy consumption.

But that work should be rewarded with butterflies of excitement when he calls and starts chatting away about anything and everything. That work should be rewarded with being told you look pretty. It should be rewarded with your kids liking him and being happy that mommy is a bit happier too.

Yet there are deal-breakers we need to all be aware of as they matter to us whether we admit it or not. 

Deal Breakers

A deal-breaker is something that you can’t get past and accept. You might be okay with someone having a glass of wine with dinner at night but not willing to date someone who has two vodkas every night when they come home. Each person has a different list of deal-breakers and it will do you well to know what they are. I’m Catholic and my ex is Jewish. While this wasn’t a big deal while dating, it became a big deal for him when we got married and especially in raising our son. Where we had once agreed to do our own thing, he resented the Catholic traditions I brought into his Jewish home.

Deal breakers can include things like:

  • Religious or political incompatibility
  • Smoking, alcohol, or drug habits
  • Child raising values and practices
  • Lifestyle choices 
  • Sexual incompatibility

On the flip side, for me, I know a new deal-breaker is athleticism. My ex-husband was not athletic at all and really disliked sports. While this isn’t a big deal to some degree, I love sports and being an athlete is something I identify with. I’d love my partner to share my love and passion for sports and be able to play them simply because it gives us more to do together, be playfully competitive with, and supportive in. It wasn’t a deal-breaker in my first marriage but it is one moving forward.

Think about what your deal breakers are and where you draw the line in the sand. The deal breakers should be fundamentals that you just can’t compromise on; if you try to, you’ll probably become resentful of the person which isn’t really fair since it’s your deal-breaker you compromised on.

Moving Forward

neon sign, "go up and never stop"

I’ve tried the online dating thing; I have several close friends happily married because of online dating platforms and I am happy for them. But the more I’m on dating sites, the less I feel it is for me. It doesn’t matter if it is a free or paid platform; they just don’t have great options for me. At the same time, friends remind me that I literally live on a rock and choices may be limited.

But I think it’s time for me to venture into hobbies where I can meet those with similar interests. That means joining a tennis league and maybe doing some improv classes. These are old passions that time hasn’t given me the joy of recently. But that’s the work I’ll need to do: get out, do things I love, and meet others who love the same types of things. Maybe then I’ll get out of the swipe right, swipe left rat race of a single mother scanning for unmarried single men.

Are you a single mom and want a place you can trust other single moms for support, laughter, venting, and ugly cries? We have the place for you in our Private Facebook Group.

silhouette of woman with fire behind her

Getting Out of an Unhealthy Relationship

/6 Comments/in , , , /by

Breaking up is hard to do under the best of circumstances. Getting out of an unhealthy relationship has internal dynamics that make is all the harder to end. Understanding what makes a relationship unhealthy helps the person leaving to identify the reasons they need to leave. Substance abuse, mental illness, emotional and physical abuse, and infidelity are signs that you are in a bad relationship and need to find a way out.

What Is an Unhealthy Relationship

There is not one thing that defines an unhealthy relationship. Sometimes personalities simply don’t mix and you aren’t happy; you feel like the relationship holds you down. More often than not, unhealthy relationships involve physical or emotional abuse, monetary control or social isolation (or all of them).

Why We Stay in Unhealthy Relationships

unhealthy relationship couple arguing

There is a myriad of reasons people stay in unhealthy relationships. Often it can be a mixture of things that lead from one bad relationship to another. Until someone understands why they get in and stay in a bad relationship, the cycle continues. As a single mom, my goal is to break the cycle of my bad choices now that I’m out of the unhealthy relationship. That being said, it isn’t easy getting out.

I knew before my son was even born that our marriage wasn’t going to last. Yet, I was desperate to find a way to make it work. I wanted my son to have a cohesive family he could rely on. And even in the face of knowing it wasn’t going to happen, my pride didn’t want to admit how bad of a decision I had made. I stayed two years longer than was emotionally healthy for myself.

Here are some reasons we stay in unhealthy relationships:

Self-Worth and Satisfaction

One of the most prevalent is your personal set of standards, meaning someone can be satisfied with an unsatisfactory relationship. This often has to do with a person’s self-esteem and self-worth. Comparing your life to others, it can be easy to say, “well I don’t deserve more than this.”

Abusive Conditioning and Fear

This feeling could also be the result of manipulation and emotional abuse. A man or woman could become convinced by an abusive partner that they aren’t deserving of someone better, that they are worthless and unlovable. Some trying to leaving an abusive relationship may fear a violent outburst from his or her partner.

Investment of Time or Money

Our personal ego can fight our own instincts to leave someone. We look at the time and money spent to build a relationship. It can be hard to determine when it is time to cut our losses and move on. This is where emotions and rational thinking don’t always mesh; our heart is telling us we aren’t happy but our mind is telling us that we should stick it out because we’ve been together for so long.

Children Are Involved

One of the hardest things to do is to leave when children are involved. There are a couple of reasons for this. The most common reason is keeping the children’s best interest at heart by not wanting them to have a split home. Other reasons are more fear-based: men may think they won’t have time with their kids while women may fear not being able to provide for the household on their own. Remember that there is an impact on kids when we stay in toxic relationships.

Layout of mugs, t-shirts, hats, books and pillows

Get your mom swag on by ordering your mommy tribe gear today!

The Difference Between Compromise and Sacrifice

Compromise is when two parties work together to find a middle ground; it means both are probably getting something and giving something. Sacrificing is giving up your needs and wants to give in to the other person. Continual sacrifice leads to a feeling of resentment and unfulfillment.

It’s often said that it takes two people to make a relationship work. It is also said that it takes two to make it fail. The latter statement can be a bit tricky. Two people compromising or deciding to split ways is a demonstration of two people making it work or not work. One person expecting the other to always make the sacrifice still technically involves two people but only one is really working on the relationship.

You are sacrificing if:

  • you are always giving and never getting anything in return.
  • nothing is ever enough to satisfy the other person.
  • the goal posts move every time you agree to your side of the compromise.

Sacrifice Can Be Subtle

It was apparent that no matter what I did, it would never be enough. The food I always had cooked and loved wasn’t healthy enough by his standards. When I changed the entire menu according to his wishes, he never ate it and complained that I never cooked. One of the many ways in which I thought I was making a compromise to make things work. In my mind, it was a small change to make so our family could enjoy a meal together.

Finally separated, I was able to inventory all the things I loved that I changed or got rid of. Everything from how I cooked, favorite artwork and even relocating my dog. I also lost count of the number of times he told me he “didn’t need to compromise.” There were two in the marriage with only one trying to work things out.

Knowing When It’s Time to Leave

At some point, a person needs to know when it is time to leave. It will never feel right or feel good because you do have emotional ties to the person, the relationship and the situation. You may be afraid that making the leap will lead to something worse than where you are at. Often, people know it’s time and still stay mustering the courage and developing the plan to do so.

The moment you realize it is time to leave can be the most terrifying moment you ever face. You’re in a bad relationship, maybe physically or emotionally abusive. Changing the status quo can set a chain reaction of things. But, you have to recognize that time has come.

Here are some things to consider the time to get out of a bad relationship:

  • Walking on eggshells is the new normal, even for the kids, so as to not upset your partner
  • Friends no longer want to meet at your home or have couples’ nights out
  • Sex life is unsatisfying or non-existent
  • Fear is the predominant feeling
  • Money is completely controlled by the other party
  • Memories of why you are together are hard to find
  • Sleeping, eating and exercise habits become unhealthy

Everyone’s list is unique. The patterns of an unhealthy relationship are different for everyone. It’s important to know that while you may feel stuck, you aren’t. You have the opportunity to make a change for the better.

Have a Plan to Leave an Unhealthy Relationship

Take the time to create a plan for leaving. Obviously, if you are in physical danger, time is not on your side. You need to get out and find a friend, family member or shelter that can help. In most other situations, simply getting up and walking out rarely puts you in a position of personal strength ­– personal strength is everything you need when leaving.

Start with a trusted support network. Figure out the money; save somewhere you can. Line up employment if you don’t already work. Find a place stay, whether with a friend or renting somewhere on your own. Check on how benefits work if you will need them to get you through the initial phase of break off. That’s what this is, breaking off, not breaking up. You need to cut the emotional ties and physical dependency while keeping the rest of you intact.

Go Time

go time clock

Take a deep breath and consider what you are doing. There will be so many triggers pulling you back to staying if even for the comfort of just not creating conflict. Get a friend to help you, support you through it. If you make plans you can’t change, it helps. Hire movers or sign the contract for a new lease.

When I knew it was time, I went out and looked for a place to live. I found a small house in a community I felt safe in. The lease was signed, deposit paid and movers hired. There were two locations I needed to deal with: our home and our ranch where most of my things had been put in storage because he didn’t like them. My plan was to have my son go to a playdate while I met the movers at the ranch to take care of that then swing by and get the essentials from the home. A friend met me the day before to help me gather my things at the ranch so we could be in and out as quickly as possible.

So much for trusted allies. He came home that night with a sudden urgency to go to the ranch on a weeknight when it was always a weekend home. When the movers and I arrived, he had unpacked things to go through them, taken what he felt was his and harassed the movers with a video camera in their face the entire time. Nothing about that day was easy but the moment I laid in my new home, with my son cuddled up next to me, I knew I had taken the first step to regain control of my life.

Recovering from an Unhealthy Relationship

It takes time to untangle the emotions after breaking away from an unhealthy relationship. People react differently. Some get out and enjoy freedom while others stay at home, suffering in silence. Extremes of either option aren’t good. Make time to spend with friends and family but don’t be afraid to sit down and feel. Figure out who you are again.

Kids will have their own struggles. It’s important that you don’t get so stuck in your own healing that you forget about the pain or confusion your children might be feeling. Yes, kids are resilient but they still experience stress when mommy and daddy split.

Shortly before I moved out, I had taken my son to the pediatrician. In the visit, I explained to the doctor that his father and I were separating and was there anything I should expect. His words were prophetic, “He’ll feel like things are out of control so he’ll hold on to what he can control. His bladder.” My son was a toddler and just starting pottie training that quickly stopped by toddler refusal when we moved out. When I followed up with the pediatrician, he laughed, “Don’t worry, it will work itself out. I promise he won’t be going to college in a diaper.”

Book Ad

Not Making the Same Mistakes Again

It’s easy to say, “I’m never going to let that happen to me again.” You’ve left because you saw the need, felt the negativity and broke away. Clarity is a nice thing. Then come the loneliness and the stress. Being a single mom or single dad isn’t easy; it’s nice to have someone around to talk to, to help, to keep guard of the bathroom door for an indulgent bath alone. All those feelings are natural and normal.

No one can predict how long it will take to recover or how long it should take to jump back into the dating world. Some people are better about just going out and dating casually than others. I’ve never been good at casual dating so for me, it has been a very cautious road of who I let into my life and into my son’s. The work to heal takes time and requires digging into all the icky stuff that makes us feel ashamed or embarrassed for our previous decisions. You have to do that work to rebuild your self-esteem and self-worth. Otherwise, the cycle continues.

We’re here to help. Join our free secret Facebook support group, Single Mommy Tribe. We’re here to celebrate your success, listen to the venting and provide resources to help you move ahead in your life.

Being a single mom does mean you are parenting solo, but it doesn’t mean you need to be alone. Join the Tribe for support, resources and fun.

Tax Tips Single Moms Should Know

/0 Comments/in , , /by

Being Head of Household grants you greater exemptions than claiming Single status on your tax return. I wish I could say it was as much as filing Married Jointly but that is what is called “the price to pay for freedom.” Okay, maybe that isn’t exactly what that phrase is referring to, but it does fit.

Exemptions mean you get more credits against taxes paid which means you either get more money back or save what you would otherwise pay.

Couple things to keep in mind when selecting filing status. If you are still technically married, you cannot claim either. You must choose to file jointly or separately. Keep in mind that filing separately will kill many exemptions, deductions and thresholds on your tax return.

If you have a spouse that just up and left, you can file for an exception. Check with your local tax preparer to get the right forms in place to get the IRS benefits of Head of Household status.

Tax Tip #2: Child Support Vs Spousal Support

Don’t count what you don’t need to when it comes to money you get from your ex. The IRS is very clear on this matter. Child support is not counted as income and doesn’t need to be listed anywhere on your tax return. Spousal support you receive is counted as income for you and deducted as an expense for your ex.

Thus, spousal support could affect your tax rate, your ability to contribute to a Roth IRA or get certain credits.

Tax Tip #3: The Child Tax Credit

The Child Tax Credit was doubled with the passing of the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act of 2017. This means you are eligible for up to $2,000 per qualifying dependent. It seems a bit complicated since there are income thresholds to maximize the credit and part of it, $500, is refundable while the other part is non-refundable.

Don’t get caught up in the minutia. Refundable simply means you can earn it as a refund where non-refundable can only take your tax liabilities to zero.

Here is what you need to know:

  • Child must be under age 17
  • Child must be yours by birth, stepchild or foster child
  • You provide more than half of his support for the past six months
  • Must be your dependent meaning lived with you for more than half of year
  • Child must be a U.S. citizen, U.S. national or U.S. resident alien
  • Your Modified Adjusted Gross Income must be less than $75,000 to get full credit

If you are wondering about the support and dependents component, check with your court order or divorce decree. It usually stipulates what parent can claim the dependency for tax purposes if you split custody.

Layout of mugs, t-shirts, hats, books and pillows

Get your mom swag on by ordering your mommy tribe gear today!

Tax Tip #4: The Earned Income Credit

The Earned Income Credit is a refundable credit for low-income households. As a refundable credit, someone who wasn’t required to file or have paid any taxes can get this entire credit as a refund. For example, if you file your taxes and owe $500 but receive the full Earned Income Credit for $5,716 (a household of you and two children), you will receive a refund of $5,216 even though you never paid those taxes.

For Single and Head of Household Filers, the maximum income thresholds are $40,320, $45,802 and $49,194 for 1-3 children in the home respectively. Remember that while spousal support is counted as income it does not affect the wage limits of this credit.

Tax Tip #5: The Child and Dependent Care Tax Credit

If you have a child or children under the age of 13, you may be eligible for The Child and Dependent Care Tax Credit. This credit will give you a percentage back of childcare costs paid up to $3,000 ($6,000 for two or more children). This is a non-refundable credit which means it can only reduce tax liabilities to zero.

To get The Child and Dependent Care Tax Credit:

  • Children must be under age 13
  • Have valid childcare costs with valid tax identification numbers for care providers.

Tax Tip #6: Fund That IRA

Trust me, I know that money gets tight when you are a single mom. But if you can, fund that IRA. If you don’t have the money right now, check to see what contributing will save you and what your refund will be. The IRS actually allows tax filers to fund IRA accounts with their refund.

This means you can take the deduction, lower your tax liability, increase your refund and not have funded the IRA until the refund check hits the account. The IRS actually has a program where you can have your refund go directly to the IRA to make sure you don’t get tempted to take a few spas days instead.

It’s nice to know that the IRS is looking out for you, at least in that little way.

Final Thoughts on Tax Tips for Single Moms

Divorce is complicated. Single parenting is complicated. Taxes are complicated.

Obviously, these are just a few things to keep in mind when doing your 2018 taxes in 2019. Many tax software programs are inexpensive and will walk you through what you are allowed and not allowed to do.

Book Ad

In fact, Credit Karma allows you to sign up and file your federal and state taxes for free. No catch! Don’t be afraid of the big old IRS dude.

Take the time to understand how your court orders read and what filing will benefit you the most. Maximize exemptions and credits so you pay as little in taxes as possible and ideally maximize your refund.

Being a single mom does mean you are parenting solo, but it doesn’t mean you need to be alone. Join the Tribe for support, resources and fun.